


I Can Love Gently Too

by mothstars



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Drabble, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, fluff is more at the end really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 14:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3573272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothstars/pseuds/mothstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He supposed that even if he was terrifying, he could still be gentle. Because he loved others more than anything, loved Izaya more than anything, and there was no way that he was going to let anyone take that from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Love Gently Too

**Author's Note:**

> kind of throwing around my own personal feelings with these, this one is kind of related to my last fic, 'Some Days Are Hard'. Kind of like... the opposite of that, I suppose. either way, it's currently 3am and while i tried to edit this i may have missed stuff so apologies if i did!

_I protect roughly, but that doesn't mean I can't love gently._

\----

 

    For the strongest man in Ikebukuro, Heiwajima Shizuo was surprisingly gentle.

 

    He didn’t talk much, he didn’t speak much unless spoken to, he had a quiet existence. unless, of course, you got him angry. But aside from the outbursts of rage, he was peaceful. Shizuo enjoyed the peace. He enjoyed the quiet and the calm, when things were gentle. He tried to be those things, despite his rage and his strength. He wanted to be someone that was gentle, someone that was kind.

 

    If you asked someone that knew Shizuo well, they could tell you the small ways he was gentle. How he would feed stray cats, or help children if they were lost. How he would bring you out for ice cream on a whim; or how he would play claw games and win you prizes casually. If you were kind to him, he would smile softly and be kind to you as well. Behind the roughness of his reputation he was soft.

 

    Shizuo himself, however, had a hard time seeing this.

 

    All he saw was the rage, he saw the terrifying, powerful, unstoppable rage that filled his whole body. He saw how he ripped signs and machines from the ground and hurled them with ease. He saw something to be feared, something to be hated. And he did. Out of everyone in all of Ikebukuro, the one that feared and hated Heiwajima Shizuo was none other than himself. He believed he could never be gentle, he could never be the soft, peaceful person he wanted to be.

 

    That is, until he overheard something.

 

    He heard it one an ordinary day, as he was walking home after a long day of work. It was late, far later than usual, and he was ready to be home. He was only a few blocks from his apartment when he heard it, two women talking to each other just outside a bar. Shizuo didn't know the context, he didn't know the two girls and he figured they may have been drunk, judging from the strong smell of alcohol. But what one of them said to the other hit him.

 

    _“You know, someone protects roughly can be the same person who can love the most gently.”_

 

    He had never thought of something like that, he had never thought that something rough could also be gentle. It didn’t make sense at first, he didn't believe it. A part of him wanted to, though.

 

\----

 

    When he got home that day he stripped as soon as he came through the door. The day had been hot, he felt sweaty and his clothes that were sticking to his body were annoying. He had moved into the bathroom, starting the shower and taking his time to clean his body, wash away the tension in his shoulders and the sweat. the water was cool and it was relaxing. Once he finished washing himself he stood there for awhile, letting the water pour over his hair and skin.

 

_...Can I be gentle too?_

 

    He thought about it for a long while. He knew he wanted to be. He wanted to be gentle with all his heart, he wanted to protect the ones he loved, he wanted to be able to live without the constant fear that he was dangerous to others.

 

    He couldn’t come to a conclusion.

 

    With a deep sigh, he finally turned the water off. He stepped out of the shower, moved to dry himself off, wrapped the towel around his hips, then went to his bedroom. Once there he went to the closet, digging around some before finding a clean pair of boxers and sweatpants. He pulled them on before shuffling over to his bed.

 

    Shizuo stood there for a moment before he climbing into bed. He looked down at the figure currently curled up and fast asleep in his blankets. He wondered how he managed to get this, how he managed to find someone that cared for him and wasn’t afraid. It still baffled him. With a soft smile he leaned down a bit, brushed a bit of the hair from the raven's face and pressed a tiny kiss to his forehead. After that he slowly and carefully climbed into the bed, pulling the blankets up over himself. He took a moment to get comfortable, but soon he was scooting closer to the figure next to him. Shizuo wrapped his arms around Izaya and hugged him against his chest, being careful not to wake him up.

 

    It was in that moment that Shizuo realized something. What he realized, was that despite the rage, just then he was gentle. just then he felt soft, he felt peaceful. Those words that girl had said echoed in his head, and suddenly he understood their meaning. He sighed, one that was relieved.

 

    What he now understood, was simple. He could be rough, he could be dangerous, he could be terrifying to those that threatened him. But he could also be gentle. He could be quiet and peaceful and soft with those he loved.

 

    Shizuo couldn't help the smile that spread onto his lips. He hugged Izaya a bit closer, buried his face against Izaya's hair and took a deep breath in, letting the familiar scent that could only ever be known to him as Izaya surround him. He mumbled softly, knowing that Izaya couldn’t hear him but he didn't much care, all that mattered was that he got them out.

 

           “Hey, Izaya… I love you.”

    He supposed that even if he was terrifying, he could still be gentle. Because he loved others more than anything, loved Izaya more than anything, and there was no way that he was going to let anyone take that from him.


End file.
